Christian Gospel as a "Manufacturers Recall Notice"

Wife, the other member of the bi-personal being to which I belong, forwarded a copy she had received from a friend that is a somewhat humorous framing of the Christian message as a "Manufacturer's Recall Notice".

If it's not familiar to you, the original version may be found at one of these links (only if you have Adobe Reader installed will you be able to use the first one).


Recall (PDF file)
Maker's Recall(2)
Maker's Recall (3)


I appreciated the novelty of the concept, but saw a few problems with the details of the exposition. Perhaps it was because of some recent extended thinking about the connections between persons, and how the very idea of a completely isolated person is self-refuting. Give some thought to the process by which you became a self-aware being and perhaps this will help you consider what I'm saying (not that I fully understand it myself - - -which is why I have been struggling with this notion of person, and its relationship to family, community, to "others", for some time). It helps to have been a parent seeing one's children grow, I think. It is hard to recall our infancy and acquisition of language, though that perhaps is a key ingredient of formation of our "person". Perhaps some of the psych students out there can help me with this (references please)?

Appended here is my edited version of the "recall notice", for what it's worth. Comments and feedback would be appreciated, but of course are entirely optional. Some related passages that have stimulated thinking about our connectedness to God and to each other are appended. Of course, my version would need a lot of editing and cutting back to give it the flavor of a true recall notice, but hopefully in my less-than-tight prose draft, the main idea will get through, and a talented writer can improve the delivery without losing the main point - - - namely, The Recall is about being reconnected to the Father, through the Son, and inhabitation by the Holy Spirit, and thus drastically improving our connectedness to one another (a frequently repeated theme in discussions of what "the church" is all about).

These thoughts also help us to understand the problem of a case for monotheism that does not allow for an eternal Being that consists of more than one person (if indeed "person" in isolation is an impossibility). Polytheists may have a field day with this, but on the plane of philosophical thinking (like Solomon's "man under the sun" in Ecclesiastes), Plato dealt decisively with the incoherence of polytheism (and various other incoherences common to the priestly profession in every age) in the Euthyphro dialogue (copy may be found at the following link):


PLATO - Euthyphro Dialogue

Theologically, the entire Old Testament makes the case for monotheism in opposition to the polytheism that was the "norm" in the ancient world, and to which the people of Israel were drawn repeatedly.

An important question for monotheists who buy into the idea that One God contains the possibility (indeed the necessity) of a multi-personal unified Being, and most especially we who are Christian monotheists (do I hear the Muslims and Jews chuckling over this??) is: what is so special about Three? And how does the very striking passage in Proverbs 8, in which Wisdom is given a feminine personality and described as "there at the foundation of the cosmos" (see verses 22-31) fit into this notion (at this point perhaps only the Muslims are still chuckling)? Is there perhaps a Fourth? (and then the question becomes, "What is so special about Four?") Any theological experts out there who can help me with this would be very appreciated if they could direct me to a few references for consideration of this question. In two millenia of Christian theologizing, it has to have come up at least a few times!


NOTICE OF RECALL!!

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all created units , regardless of make, model, or year, to repair a terminally serious defect in the unit’s motivational component, the heart. This defect is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit. code named Adam and Eve, which resulted in their fatal disconnection from the Maker. As a result of an essential element of the original design, the reproductive function which empowered the original bi-personal being to fulfill the Maker’s purpose, this fatal condition has been inherited by all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequent Intentional Non-connection", more commonly known as S.I.N.

Some other symptoms of this failure to remain properly connected to the Maker, according to the Original Intent, include

1. Loss of direction (due to operation of judgmental function contrary to design specifications and limits)
2. Foul vocal emissions (due to internal code reassignments that deface and replace the Maker’s code)
3. Amnesia of origin and purpose (due to disconnection from Maker’s complete eternal information archives)
4. Lack of peace and joy (due to persistent disconnection from the Maker’s presence and fellowship)
5. Selfish (unconnected) behavior, frequently erupting into violent acts destructive both to self and others
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component (due to the many disorders, internal and external,which have followed from the Original Disconnection)
7. Fearfulness(due to the inevitable discovery of the infinite mismatch between the disconnected being’s powers and the awesome forces of both internal and external circumstances, and thus the being’s personal subjection to these forces)
8. Idolatry (self-creation of false, ultimately futile, connections to other elements of the created cosmos in the attempt to remedy the consequences of the missing connection without reference to personal accountability and connection to the Creator)
9. Rebellion (acting contrary to the Maker’s design function and purpose with ruinous consequences)
10. Adultery and Treason Failure to recognize the unity of the bi-personal being and their representation of the Maker, resulting in erosion of personal within-family connections, perpetuation of disconnected and disoriented offspring, distortion of communal connections, accumulation of inter-personal disorders into family dissension, communal iniquity and strife, and warfare between communities and national assemblies of communities.
11. Death Eventual dissolution of the being’s physical substance due to the absence of connection to the organizing and motivating power source which was originally designed to enable the unit and its offspring to persist indefinitely.

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this self-inflicted defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required, since the actual cost is beyond the capacity of any unit to finance; moreover, any attempt to supplement or supplant this free offer with a substitute offer on terms defined by the unit simply perpetuates the condition which the offer is intended to remedy. Thus the free offer is made on an unconditional and un-negotiable basis and cannot be received on any other terms. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, and provided that the unit remains connected to the Maker according to the Maker’s specifications, JESUS is empowered to cause the Maker’s Spirit to indwell the unit’s heart, replacing the former contents with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes according to the Maker’s design specifications.

IMPORTANT NOTE (See I Tim 1: 5-11) Each B.I.B.L.E. user is warned that this manual is specifically designed for units under repair, was not written as a rule book for self-empowerment by undamaged units (a self-refuting concept), and indeed, unless used as intended, could subject misdirected units into a continuation and even intensification of units’ severely damaged condition .

"I AM THE VINE, YOU ARE THE BRANCHES. WITHOUT ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING."

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!!! Thank you for your immediate attention.

For a brief Maker’s message concerning the intent towards all damaged units and for a recognition test to assess personal response to the recall offer, see the recall and repair manual notice at John 3:16-21.

THE VERTICAL CONNECTION - MOTIVATED AND TESTED

John 3
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 "He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."


THE VERTICAL CONNECTION ILLUSTRATED

John 15
1 "I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

HORIZONTAL CONNECTIONS THROUGH THE VERTICAL CONNECTION

John 15
9 "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

Ephesians 5
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.